Is masturbation useful for a man

Satisfied sexuality - "Is daily masturbation dangerous?"

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Since my chemotherapy (breast cancer) and a 5-year anti-hormone therapy, I have no longer wanted to have sex, especially because it is always very painful, have tried various lubricants, but unfortunately it does not work without pain! What else can I do, but I don't want hormones!

Werner Huwiler: Since it is unclear where your pain is coming from, I recommend that you see a sex therapist. There you can find out what the reasons for your pain are and actively address them.

Good day. We are a couple (m49 / w51) with two children 14/16 years. My wife's orgasm is often accompanied by an attack-like, very violent headache, almost always lately. This headache takes a long time to subside (several hours). This phenomenon has been occurring since the (normal, extreme headache) birth of our second child. It also occurs with self-stimulation. My wife sometimes suffers from migraines, but we could not find any connection. Kind regards

Werner Huwiler: Your wife should first have the headache examined by a doctor. Perhaps a solution will emerge from this. However, it could also be that your woman tenses her muscles very strongly during orgasm or self-stimulation, which can also lead to discomfort or headaches. This could concern your wife in a sex therapy or a pleasure or orgasm group for women (addresses can be found on the Internet).

hello .. is masturbation dangerous every day?

Werner Huwiler: Daily masturbation is not dangerous. It is advisable to use oil or lubricant so that the touched areas do not become sore so quickly.

Good evening. I suffer a lot from the fact that I don't even trust myself to find a partner with whom I would like to have sex. Masturbation makes me feel like I'm relieving my problems in the wrong way. In fact, in the phase after self-satisfaction, I feel less motivation and also less strength to tackle the very difficult problem or - in the best case - to take practical steps in order to get to know a woman. What do you mean?

Werner Huwiler: Addressing a woman is not always easy and requires a little courage. This is independent of masturbation. You can experience your masturbation more pleasantly if you playfully try different types of stimulation (faster - slower, less pressure) and with the addition of oil or lubricant. There are offers for single people (e.g. in Zurich) as well as for practicing pleasurable self-satisfaction (sex therapy). Stay tuned!

Since the birth of my children for more than 6.5 years I just don't really feel like having sex anymore. How do we get on the way again? It is really slowly becoming a bit stressful, and somehow it is not really due to displeasure, but the first step is missing. Fears after such a long time etc ... I think we need instructions -.-

Werner Huwiler: There is a good book (Make Love) on this subject. Rummage around in it, maybe you will be able to take the first step again. Otherwise, you can start sex therapy together. There are also tantra offers, but these are not suitable for all couples.

My wife and I have had a longstanding relationship and have always had a very active sex life. Lately I've got the feeling that she lets go and the longer I feel the less aroused and I withdraw more and more. Anyway, I've always had the feeling that the initiative for sex comes only from me. What to do?

Regina Widmer: It is imperative that you seek an honest, open conversation with your partner! Go ahead and say how you are. And what you want. Ask her how she is doing. Learn to talk about your insecurities and needs. Usually something flows again.

Hello. My situation: I am struggling to get an erection. The morning stand works, but it is gone after urinating. With a woman I get nervous, my self-esteem disappears. I used Viagra, 50mg, that works well, but has side effects mainly on the circulatory system. I feel desperate, I want to be male. I also go to a psychiatrist in between, it doesn't really help. He says a lot of people take Viagra.

Werner Huwiler: Viagra works well for many men for a while, but it often wears off and the side effects are considerable for some men. It is more sustainable to deal with one's sexuality, with the type of arousal heightened in masturbation. Sex therapy will help you to do this. You can practice this in a protected room.

I would like to attend a pleasure course. Where and when are they offered?

Regina Widmer: You can find a few addresses for pleasure courses on the homepage under Links

What can you introduce for masturbation except sex toys?

Regina Widmer: Anything that you like and that won't hurt you or irritate your mucous membrane in the vagina. Sex toys are useful because the material for the vagina is well tolerated.

Hello, I'm 20 and I often have the problem that the erection is lost during sex and that I somehow feel too little (I could imagine it is because I am circumcised, squeeze too hard during masturbation and wear a condom) but what could I do this in order to feel the woman better and the erection does not weaken after a few minutes ....?

Werner Huwiler: With a circumcised penis you can feel just as much as with a penis with a foreskin. If you press hard while masturbating, it has a problematic effect on couple sexuality. You can "work" on this by trying to vary the pressure and speed. Begin to use the penis to penetrate the hand (which forms a vagina) so that the body (especially the pelvis) can move. That can help. Otherwise, you can practice this in sex therapy. The condoms come in different thicknesses. Get advice on this from a Kondomeria.

I'm 19 and I've never had orgasm while having sex. Only when I do it alone I'm afraid that something is wrong with me

Regina Widmer: Everything is right with you! You just haven't discovered how to cum during sex. Many women have discovered the clitoris / clitoris and rub it. The vagina often goes undetected. It takes time to feel something in the vagina as well. Stay tuned, try different things. That you are stimulating the clitoris or your partner at the same time. But you can also practice alone, e.g. 2 fingers in the vagina and otherwise stimulate yourself as you are used to. And talk to your partner. Maybe take a pleasure course. There you will learn the most important ingredients.

To meet with a partner from the circle of acquaintances only for sex. Does this work or what do I have to pay attention to?

Werner Huwiler: It is important that both of them want this too, then it can work well. But talk to this woman about it, you are still in the same circle of acquaintances if this wish is no longer there.

Good evening we are a couple he 49 / I 38 who we have sex will his penis sleep quickly what can you do about it? Or who you want to satisfy him with the han.

Regina Widmer: You can do a lot there: the best thing is to get advice and specific physical exercises in a sexual counseling service. And expand his type of masturbation. It involves pelvic movements, breathing, muscle tension, etc. Practice makes perfect.

Hello. Since I was a child, I have been satisfying myself by rubbing myself against a pillow. Unfortunately this is the only way to orgasm. When I have sex with a man, I can't orgasm. Is that normal?

Werner Huwiler: If you reach orgasm during masturbation with high pressure, this often causes problems in couple sexuality. With this pressure (possibly with the legs closed) no pleasurable penetration is possible. In sex therapy, there are other ways you can learn to increase your arousal. Then you can orgasm with a man too.

Good evening. My husband (37 yrs.) And I (31 yrs.) Never had such a sparkling sex life from the start, even though we've only been together for four years. I was actually very open beforehand, my husband has not gained that much experience and has already confirmed to me that he does not need sex as much as others. Since our son was born a year ago it has actually gotten worse and somehow we can't change that. What tips do you have for us?

Regina Widmer: Attend a course for couples together. Actually, it doesn't really matter, whether from the tantric area, such as, the link opens in a new window, or a course from Learn to communicate openly with one another. External input, in the form of a course, is often very helpful.

I do masturbation every evening my penis tip is dry that makes pain

Werner Huwiler: Just use oil or lubricant. Then the penis will not become sore so quickly. Vary with pressure and speed. With slow movements, more can be perceived. Try to actively penetrate the hand that forms a vagina with the penis (with oil). This leads to a more pleasurable experience in sex and in masturbation.

I (25 years) always feel an extreme urge to urinate shortly before I could experience a vaginal orgasm (at least I assume). What does this mean and how can I prevent it?

Regina Widmer: The vagina, clitoris and bladder / urethra all have very similar nerves. This is how such sensations can arise. You are normal. Just let go, let go, let go, even if the bladder empties a little. Or maybe it's female ejaculation coming from the urethra. Trust it: everything that flows is okay and leads to enjoyment.

I'm 71, have sex regularly. Unfortunately, stability is no longer what it used to be. How can I improve this? In addition to chem means such as Viagra etc, are there other options, alternative medis, exercises etc?

Werner Huwiler: Men become less stable as they get older. This cannot be prevented and can possibly be delayed a little with Viagra etc. In old age it is important to develop all of the foreplay and make it enjoyable. Whether or not an erection then occurs is irrelevant. We have a lot of places where we can experience sexual pleasure. Try it out, you will be surprised!

Good evening, since my husband passed away, my vagina has become very narrow from not being used for many years. Is it possible to stretch the vagina again after such a long time?

Regina Widmer: Yes, it is. For example, apply a neutral almond oil and stretch your vaginal entrance daily. If you find it too strenuous, you can also do the stretching with a dildo. Buy a smaller dildo in a sex shop you like, insert it 3 times a week for 20 minutes into the vagina and read a book about it. In time, you can buy a larger dildo. You may also need some estrogen for the vagina or plant-based estrogens as a cream. You can get this from your gynecologist.

Where and when are pleasure courses offered for women?

Regina Widmer: Take a look at, the link opens in a new window under Links. Some pleasure courses are listed there.

Is it harmful to satisfy yourself twice a day?

Regina Widmer: no

Hello. For a few months my member has been numb, feeling zero, not even warm and cold. Since no other part of the body is numb, my neurologist and urologist say that it is only psychological ... A possibility that a nerve is pinched is ruled out by both. What can i go on? Is extremely stressful if there is something dead between the legs .... Mfg and thanks in advance.

Werner Huwiler: It's very stressful, I understand that well. I recommend that you seek out a sex therapist. Sex therapy could take a step-by-step approach to addressing this problem. Do not be discouraged!

my girlfriend is very wet who I run in with my penis and since then I haven't got a vagina again

Regina Widmer: Learn, when you satisfy yourself, to be aroused with less pressure and less friction. It takes practice. But this way you can feel a lot more in your partner's vagina with your penis over time.

Good evening, I'm 26 years old, my partner is 40 years old, we are around 1 1/2 years old together so long we live together too, I brought 2 small children with me into this relationship. At the beginning our sex life was very nice unfortunately his lust has decreased so that he has no more lust for longer and longer periods of time. That is very difficult for me to understand because otherwise we would have a nice relationship.

Regina Widmer: Be sure to talk to each other. Find the conversation. Speak up, talk about yourself, how you are, what your needs are. Ask your partner how they are doing. In an open conversation, you will find out where the shoe pinches.

Hello. My husband and I often had sex in the beginning. After two children, the desire on my part is almost gone. At 46, I'm probably going through menopause too, which doesn't make it any easier. I can't imagine therapy. Are there any natural supportive agents to take?

Werner Huwiler: On the one hand, it is helpful for your vagina and your pleasure to do regular masturbation. This keeps the vagina well supplied with blood and remains moist in sexuality. You can use a neutral oil (e.g. almond oil) or lubricant for this. This also applies to sex. And talk to your husband about your sexuality, your desires and needs. So that you can maintain an active sex life in your new phase of life. Your relationship can benefit greatly from this.

As a carer for young male refugees, I am repeatedly asked how they can satisfy themselves. For obvious reasons, I recommended doing "hand jobs". Muslims and others reject this. This is harmful and masturbation is not allowed. What should I do? Are there no brochures that explain this? - Thank you and mfg

Werner Huwiler: You made a good recommendation. Masturbation is a very good way to live sexuality even in this difficult situation. Masturbation is not harmful and is not forbidden in the Koran either. There is sometimes a conservative interpretation which does not mean masturbation, but there is no explicit prohibition in the Koran. And surveys clearly show that Muslim men do as much masturbation as non-Muslim men. Than stay tuned with the male refugees. As far as I know, there are no brochures.

My husband needs porn pictures and films to masturbate. I think there are other options too, with non-violent, stimulating erotic images and films, without it having to be porn. Just the thought of it disgusts me. Because it's bothering me, he only does it in hiding. That troubles me even more. We both suffer. How should we handle this?

Regina Widmer: What men or women need to masturbate for their own sexual fantasies or images is something very personal and private. Differentiate how he pleases himself and what he needs to do so from your sex life together. Do not judge. Do you mind your own sexual happiness, what do you need to do that? What are your needs What exactly would you like to experience from your partner? try out?

I, male 40+, masturbate 5-7 times a week. I have read that you should refrain from ejaculation when masturbating, as this requires too much energy and ejaculation would occur earlier in old age (according to the motto: after 1000 shots is over: D) Do you share this opinion? What does today's research say about it? Thank you very much.

Werner Huwiler: Research is unanimous: Men don't have a number of shots to give and then it's done. Up until old age, men produce sperm (with decreasing quality) and seminal fluid, which are required for transport. Everything decreases in quantity with age, but does not necessarily dry up. The time between two ejaculations changes. This increases with age and can take several days.

Good evening, although I find my husband attractive, I haven't had an "appetite" for him for a long time. I could live well without a GV anyway, if I'm honest. Masturbation is enough for me. In addition, I find it very difficult to take the first step / the initiative. On the other hand, with a lot of effort, I can come to a nice end at the AGM. (General data: 36 years old, female, 2 children). How can I improve the situation?

Regina Widmer: You can learn to eroticize your husband again. The first thing to do is to seek an honest, open conversation and tell him how you are. In the first person, talk about yourself. And ask your husband how he is.Maybe gentle, soft penetration, slow sex is something for you too?

Sex toys are better for man or by hand

Werner Huwiler: The hand has the advantage over all sex toys that it can be adapted to one's own needs and wishes. In addition, there is the feedback from the hand, which perceives the pressure and warmth. But there is nothing against sex toys.

Hello years ago (after an operation on the sphincter and buttock area) I suddenly got a problem that I came too early. I never had the problems before. The Stop and Go techniques etc. do not work. Sometimes I come after seconds ... This stresses me more and more, but I don't find the courage to go to a urologist. What can I do?

Werner Huwiler: In sex therapy you can learn to control your ejaculation with the pelvic floor muscles and other exercises. In sex therapy you don't have to undress, maybe you can get some support like this. It is worth it ..

Hello years ago (after an operation on the sphincter and buttock area) I suddenly got a problem that I came too early. I never had the problems before. The Stop and Go techniques etc. do not work. Sometimes I come after seconds ... This stresses me more and more, but I don't find the courage to go to a urologist. What can I do?

Werner Huwiler: In sex therapy you can learn to control your ejaculation with the pelvic floor muscles and other exercises. In sex therapy you don't have to undress, maybe you can get some support like this. It is worth it ..

My partner only feels pleasure when I inflict pain on him. What can I do so that he can enjoy his pleasure without agony and pain?

Regina Widmer: There is nothing you can do. He has to do something, if he even wants to: learn to arouse himself differently. If he wants this, the most helpful thing would be to get help and ideas from sex counseling.

PS: We speak openly about our problem, so it can't be because of that.

Regina Widmer: I can only say: seek sexual counseling, find out how you relate to your vagina, what you want, what your body wants, what you want from a man, etc.

I do masturbation 3 to 4 times a week and I usually ejaculate, but my penis doesn't get hard anymore.

Werner Huwiler: The number may have an effect on the erectile function of your penis (you can try it out for 2-3 weeks). Then it also depends on age. In old age, erectile function decreases somewhat. Or maybe you are stimulating yourself with a lot of pressure on the penis, which makes blood flow difficult. If this is the case, try to vary it.

As a 53-year-old woman, can I still learn to have a vaginal orgasm? If yes how? Clitoral I have no problems to orgasm.

Regina Widmer: Yes, you can. e.g. with the Sexocorporel concept, in individual lessons or in a pleasure course: see, the link opens in a new window under Links.

Can you fatten too much if I sometimes do it 4-5 times a day? It's rare anyway. I don't do it regularly, sometimes 1-2 times a day, then take a break and then more. Do you have to pay attention to something or is something unhealthy? Can you exert too much pressure during mastrubation, so that the feeling on the penis can subside. Or does the feeling diminish with age and frequency? Are there any courses for men who want pleasure? How could it be increased ec. Would interest me

Werner Huwiler: You can't masturbate too much. Limits are possibly set by pain. The important thing is not the number, but that as much pleasure as possible can be achieved during masturbation. Regularly high pressure can reduce the feeling in the penis. With age, the feeling does not decrease, but the ability and frequency of erections does. You can learn to expand pleasure in sex therapy.

I'm 20 and I've never had an orgasm. I feel like I'm often on the verge of it, but only when I have sex with my boyfriend. I can't even come close to orgasm on my own. Is that normal or is something broken?

Regina Widmer: That is perfectly normal! Stay tuned. It goes to where the pleasant sensations are. For many women, the ability to orgasm does not just fall from the sky, but women gradually find their way there. All OK. Enjoy the path and your discoveries.

Hello, Myself and my girlfriend use contraception with a pill and a condom. Unfortunately, I don't feel much with a condom. What can I do to ensure that I get my money's worth? How safe is the pill really (she takes it daily)

Regina Widmer: When taken correctly, the pill provides safe enough contraception so that you do not have to use a condom.

Good evening, I've been taking antidepressants for a long time and I feel and feel a lot less. Can I practice and improve this again through masturbation? I'm already 60. What does the hormonal change have to do with it?

Werner Huwiler: Antidepressants often have an influence on the feeling of pleasure. But there are different drugs. You could discuss this with your doctor. The hormonal change can lead to more dryness in the vagina, which in turn affects the feeling. Masturbation also brings an improvement. In sex therapy, you could discuss all of these elements and see what you can do about them.

I am 62 years old, my long-term partner and I are sexually active. During sex, I only experience an orgamus with the stimulation of the clitoris, which means that we never have an orgamus together. We think that's a shame. How can we come together

Regina Widmer: You have a lot of mutual pleasure when you both experience an orgasm. The common orgasm is a gift that might come by itself, maybe not. Get rid of the desire to introduce yourself, these only cause stress. In return, enjoy what is to the fullest.

Good evening, I am 31 years old and unfortunately I have never had a climax so far, either alone or in my former partnership. I'm not in a relationship right now. In the past, I always blamed the lack of experience on my still young age and the little experience I had gained so far. I also have to get involved with someone and be able to trust them so that I can allow closeness. Since I still stand in line without pressure and don't know what to do, I ask for advice and tips

Werner Huwiler: There are orgasm courses for women (e.g. or In these courses, the ability to orgasm is improved among women and under guidance. Try it, it's worth it.

What can he or I do so that my friend doesn't finish so quickly? And why is that?

Werner Huwiler: If your friend comes quickly, it is up to him to change this. Men can learn to control the timing of ejaculation in sex therapy. Talk to me about what you want it to be. Then both can benefit.

My wife doesn't feel like having sex anymore. That's why I go to a prostitute every now and then but always have a bad conscience. But don't know how to help me in any other way.

Regina Widmer: Talk to your wife. Tell her how you are doing what you need, ask how she is doing. When a partner's interest in sexual togetherness has completely disappeared, it is normal to share that interest elsewhere. Communicate this.

How can I have satisfying sex when I can't get an erection?

Regina Widmer: By expanding the concept of sex to include sensuality, touch all over the body, pleasure.

My wife 74 says that she is just always too dry and therefore in a lot of pain. Therefore, no more sexual intercourse for 4 years. She has tried sliding shelves, including hormones. But apparently no use, she doesn't want to do self-gratification. What to do?

Regina Widmer: You write what your wife does not want. What do you want? Maybe something else? Find out. Talk to each other.

I am 49 years old and have never had a vaginal orgasm, only when stimulating the clitoris I come to the climax. Are there women for whom it doesn't work?

Werner Huwiler: Basically, all women are aroused. You can learn (in an orgasm class or in sex therapy) to increase your arousal in a variety of ways to help you achieve your goal.

Are there also courses in Eastern Switzerland - would you like to feel like it? What can you recommend me so that I can learn. Thanks.

Regina Widmer: There are courses in Zurich,, the link will open in a new window

I read here in the chat at some answers from the almond oil again and again. Can I use it to massage my husband's penis in order to use it as a lubricant when penetrating?

Werner Huwiler: Almond oil is very suitable for this.

I am 64 years old and have had an extremely dry, tight vagina and very thin vaginal walls for over 10 years, which immediately tear and bleed during intercourse. I have already tried different gels, ointments, suppositories, but none of them is of any use. Most remedies only give a short-term gliding function. Is there e.g. an oil that can also be poured into the vagina without causing any risks. So far I have always been advised against using oils inside.

Regina Widmer: Then maybe your vagina doesn't want conventional sexual intercourse but something else? What does your vagina want? What are your needs

Hello, is it really normal for a man to do 3-4 masturbation a week and then only achieve a semi-hard penis when he has sex with me? I've tried to talk to him many times, but he doesn't like to talk about this topic . It disgusts me that he prefers to do masturbation, it turns me off !!! What would be your advice?

Werner Huwiler: If you can't talk about it together, therapy might help. Try to encourage your husband to do so. If you don't feel like having sex in this situation, then leave the sex alone. Look at yourself!

What can I or my friend do so that he doesn't finish so quickly? And why is this?

Werner Huwiler: See the answer above in the chat

about 70% of women never have a vaginal orgasm ... that's what sex therapists say ..... what is their opinion on it .........

Regina Widmer: the same

I, husband 50, have not had sex with my partner for two years because she was sick, cancer of the kidney, now I am getting too early. You can also train this. Hardly any preservative I already have an eruption or shortly before penetration into the vagina.

Regina Widmer: Practice with yourself, masturbation. Imagine your partner, your vagina. Maybe that will take some of the pressure off you to perform.

Afraid of having pain when penetrating and therefore not wanting to try. Overcome fear but how?

Regina Widmer: Then explore your own vagina with your own finger, then with two fingers. Stretching, massaging, becoming familiar with your own vagina.

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