When is self-pity a bad idea?

Self-pity - poison for the soul

Perhaps you would like to emphasize again at this point that something really bad has happened to you and that you have every reason to feel sorry for yourself.

Well, I can't and don't want to talk you out of your self-pity or take it away. You have every right in the world to feel sorry for yourself.

I just want to ask you the question, is your self-pity getting you where you want to be?

If you complain all the time, other people could start avoiding you.

You could become more and more desperate and eventually start drinking just to feel better at times.

It could happen that you no longer have the energy to actively shape your life. Do you want that?

If you want to feel more joy again, then you have to give up your self-pity.

You could just examine whether your situation is really as bad as you currently see it.

It could be that you are exaggerating the extent, seeing only the bad, or underestimating your options. You could consciously focus your gaze on what's good in your life.

You could spend your energy thinking about how you can improve your situation.

Or you could meet other people, e.g. in a self-help group, and look for solutions together.

If you become active, use your strength instead of complaining to achieve your goals, then you will no longer feel like a victim.

Licking one's wounds and feeling sorry is sometimes good. However, self-pity is harmful when it becomes a habit to feel sorry for oneself.

Then self-pity poisons our lives, our feelings, and our relationships with others.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, develop self-compassion. To have self-compassion means to understand one's mistakes, failures, and weaknesses.